Well, it’s my turn this week to complain about the complexities of writing. If I was to list all the dilemma’s I faced, this post would go on forever (and it probably will). But just to name a few:
My brain ceases to function every time I attempt to write
I can’t imagine anyone who struggles to write more than I do. It has already taken me 15 minutes to write 4 lines so far… and this is just a blog! Can you imagine me trying to work on a chapter for my novel? At the rate that I’m writing at, I’ll probably finish my novel at 65, die from lung cancer from the copious amount of cigarettes that I smoke due to writing-related stress, and my novel will never end up getting published anyway because my manuscript will be stashed away in a basement somewhere, never to be found again. I feel depressed just thinking about it because I know that’s the truth. I wish I was one of those people who could easily write 5000 words a week—Yes, I’m talking about you people in my Novel class with your crazy word counts! Sadly, that’s not me. Writing for me is an eternal struggle because I am such a perfectionist where it doesn’t count. I am so picky with each word that goes on the page, whether it sounds good or not and a whole lot of miniscule things. Each time I write a couple of new sentences, I have to read over everything that I’ve written so far just to see whether it’s comprehensible and relevant. Most of the time, I’m not satisfied with it and end up deleting half of what I’ve just written anyway. This process happens throughout the entire time that I’m writing, which means that it probably takes me 3 hours just to write a page. But, I won’t deny that I MIGHT get distracted by things such as tv, instant messenger, the phone and eating. Hehe.
Finding the time and motivation to write
From what I’ve heard, this seems to be a problem for most people. I know that this is definitely the case for me. After much denial, I’m ready to admit that my problem is that I can’t prioritise. I would rather put my social life ahead of school work. But I mean, who would want to spend their weekend doing homework and assignments instead of going out? Even if I had the intention of staying in one weekend to catch up on school work, it never ends up working out because one of my friends will call to tempt me with glamorous promises of dancing, alcohol and good music. By the next morning, I would wake up looking like a “demon” (as Sarah would say), with blisters on my feet and a really bad hangover. So that’s a typical weekend. Then there’s work, school and other commitments that manage to pop-up on the weekdays. I don’t even want to imagine what all the mother’s in our course go through!
The Procrastinator
This has got to be the worst. After all, I am writing this blog at 8pm. It seems to be the story of my life though. I’ll forever be running out the door because I’m late for something, or leaving stuff to the very last minute. It’s not that I necessarily work best when I’m under pressure, it just seems to be the only time that I get anything done. It’s just that I always end up finding something else that I’d rather do than working on the assignment that’s due in a week. The way I see it is, there’s always time for it later. It’s really dumb, I know, because the smart person’s philosophy would be to get it out of the way so that you’ve got the rest of the time to do whatever you want and not have to worry about it. I’ve tried to adopt that strategy but I couldn’t stick with it for long. It’s so difficult to change your approach to things when you’ve been doing it all your life. As they say, “old habits never die!”
Well, whoever told me back in highschool that writers have the life because all they do is sit at home and “write stuff that sounds good”—you have ruined my life! Oh, the deception!
Pauline Ung
